GAYLE FORMAN REVIEWS
IF I STAY
by Gayle Forman
contemporary // music// death and dying // young adult
I avoided this one for a long time. I saw it everywhere I went— bookstores, Target, recent movie trailers, and my Nook and Goodreads recommendations. Every time I turned around, there it was. And I avoided it because it sounded too gimmicky for me. I’ve seen it all before in television and film-- The main character is near death and has a ghostlike out-of-body experience. She watches her loved ones, thinks about her life, etc. I decided it was going to be the same campy, weepy kind of thing I’ve seen a thousand times, and I kept turning away from it.
But I turned my Nook on the other day, and it was staring me in the face again under Recommendations. It’s like the book universe won’t rest until you pay attention when it says, “if you liked these books, you will like this book!”
But I didn’t like this book.
I loved it.
Going in with all of these negative thoughts, I assumed If I Stay would have little impact on me… and then I started crying.
On page 15.
I didn’t cry as much as I thought I would as the story unfolded, but I did have near-constant chills, which I attribute to the beautiful writing. Mia’s characterization was so strong. It’s wonderful to read about a nice, well-adjusted young girl who actually loves being with her family and wants to spend time with them. It made me realize how often I read about the overprotective or deadbeat parents that the kids want nothing to do with. Her relationship with Adam was so compelling and Kim was a fantastic friend. Mia was a bit neurotic about being wanted/accepted, which I enjoyed reading because I’ve experienced those very same feelings and I’ve never seen them explained in this way— in a way that didn’t make her seem silly or obnoxious, just a little insecure. It was endearing and easy to relate to. Also endearing was the intense passion for music these characters had.
Music was the bright, shining sun in this story. Everything revolved around and relied on music. Mia’s father was a musician, Mia and Adam were musicians, and every character had this profound respect for all genres of music, regardless of what they personally favored, and it factored into practically every moment of their lives. The small detail of Beethoven’s Cello Sonata no. 3 still floating through the morning air after the car was blown apart was powerful and haunting (also the moment I started crying). It was beautiful the way classical music and the gorgeous cello were painted in this book. I have a somewhat hidden passion for classical music. I listen to it often while I’m writing. It is so graceful, so relaxing, inspiring, and, after personally struggling with the viola for two years, the level of skill and dedication also astounds me. Mia’s skill and dedication astounded me. It was amazing.
So, the ghost gimmick thing is there. The story is cheesy at times. But it was so full of heart, I didn’t even care. What I did care about was the ending, which was way too abrupt. I’m so thankful for the sequel, but I still wish this book had more. More Adam. More Teddy. More Kim. and more to the ending.
The film looks fantastic! I'm so excited for this.
WHERE SHE WENT
by Gayle Forman
contemporary // hurt and loss // music
MAJOR INEVITABLE SPOILERS AHEAD FOR IF I STAY
I didn’t think it was possible for this sequel to be more emotionally damaging than If I Stay but I was so, so completely mistaken. After the abrupt, unsatisfying ending of If I Stay, I was unsure of what to expect from the sequel. Was it going to pick up where it left off? Was it going to take us through Mia’s recovery/heartache at learning to live without her beautiful family? Was Adam going to be able to help her out of this dark hole she’d surely be spiraling into? Or was it just going to be If I Stay from Adam’s POV? NEVER did I think this book was going to pick up three full years after the accident. Three full years during which Adam and Mia haven’t even SPOKEN. Never did I think she was going to hold him to his stricken plea at her bedside and run away from him. Ugh it hurt. It hurt so bad.
Where She Went tore my heart open even more than If I Stay. Much more. You remember If I Stay, right? That book where the coolest, most kick-ass parents and their baby boy were brutally killed in a car accident that left their daughter hanging in the balance, stuck in a coma, faced with the choice of going to be with her family or fighting to stay behind? Well, Where She Went is basically about a boy with a broken heart. So… how could that possibly even compare to the pain? I don’t know if it’s just because I was more prepared for the events of If I Stay, or simply because Adam is a truly amazing character who I love so much and it broke me to see him so shattered, so lost, alone, and half the person he used to be, but If I Stay did not affect me half as much as this book.
I could not put this down. I was up with it all night long. Around 5am, my eyes began to sting so much I couldn’t keep them open any longer. Even after I regretfully closed the book and turned off the light, I couldn’t sleep because I was so worked up over Adam’s distress, and the moment I woke up this morning, I dove right back in and didn’t move from my bed until I reached the end. There was simply no good stopping point. Most of the book, like its predecessor, takes place over the course of one long, dramatic day— one continuous scene, unbroken even by the scattered flashbacks. I was completely unable to walk away.
Adam’s grief was earth-shattering. Not only did he lose the love of his life, but he lost the family who he loved as his own, and a friend in Kim, and the purpose music once gave him. This book handles these issues so incredibly well. Everything felt so real and so raw.
I also like how this book addressed Mia’s out-of-body If I Stay experience. She had vague memories of things she couldn’t have possibly seen— Some inexplicable metaphysical phenomenon that was hazy even to her. There was no campy supernatural angle about the situation. While it was used as a storytelling technique, we really don’t know anything about what comes after this life, or what happens on the way there. And the book left it at that.
Music was still prominent here, but it was focused on Adam’s heavy rocker stuff as opposed to Mia’s classical in the first book. We get a look at all of Adam’s Mia-inspired lyrics and they hit so hard. Every time I came across something he wrote, I kept remembering the moment in If I Stay when he basically told Mia she’d have to break his heart in order for him to write about her. And here were albums worth of raw anger and devastation. My heart broke for him over and over.
This book is definitely worth the ride, though, and an absolute must if you enjoyed If I Stay. It’s not often that I love a sequel more than the original, but that is precisely what happened here. I hope the first movie does well in theatres because this movie NEEDS to be made.